please. don't say it.

why do i recoil from affection from family yet crave it from those who won't be there when it ends...why do i stare at a computer screen, phone screen, tv screen, hoping for affirmation.

make more money

work out more

tan more

lose weight

that's the formula right? is that what will make me happy?

and don't say God...please. iknow.

jam from a glass jar

is it wrong to eat jam straight out of a jar? so good...

i made my once weekly trek to whittier today. i stayed at my house only long enough to ge some things i ha left behind. then i taught a couple sax lessons and went to work at CDR. now i am home and for some reason not wanting to go to bed even though my bed is amazingly comfortable, easily the best bed i have ever slept in.

so i'm supposed to be watching a fish "bob". he sits in the living room and i think i forgot to feed him 6 out of the last 8 days... serisouly this fish will not die, i suppose the fact that he has lived three years also indicates this. so how bad would a friend react if you killed their fish? or let it die....?

browned and loving it

i look like i live on the beach. you know, the blond streaked hair, the more-than-average tan, the exceptionally obvious tan line. however, i feel like i live in a downtown city cause i can't find any damn parking! i go to bed nervous tonight because i literally squeezed into a parralel parking space (ira, you would have wept with pride) and now have only 6-10 inches on both sides in which to exit tomorow. i hope the other cars move before i do and i now know that i will be riding my bike to the gym tomorow morning! :-o
the last 3 days were amazing, i had a swedish massage for the first time! and officially celebrated a year with Ira. (it's actually around 13 months)

next week (july 7th) is my NCLEX-RN! i am not sure how i feel about that....

a house with a view...

okay so one of my summer 2006 resolutions (because yes, you can have resolutions more than once a year, i prefer to do them every 6 months) is to blog more, because i have more interesting things to blog about.okay, so lets see, whats the latests... june 22...

the.pad.
well first things first, I MOVED OUT! sweet, yes. I now live in long because right next to the water, i don't mean like a mile from it, i mean ilike 10 feet from it. i am renting daniel and seannas apartment untill they return from germany in september, which basically means i am hooked up in a beach house for the whole sumer, now yes, i am payng rent, but its nice. so yea, i am here by myself and i heart it a lot. and ira is a mile down the street, that is really nice.

the.physical.
i joined the belmon athletic club (www.belmontathleticclub.com) which is a sweet gym on 2nd street in belmont shore, where Ira and samuel work out. i bike down there in the mornings and work out, its definitly not a meat market but i've never seen 40 year old women in such good shape! and boy am i enhjoying the suns rays! i lay out on my patio pretty frequently and i am gradually developing more brownness 8-).

the.pay.
so unitl i start working at PIH i am working at knotts berry farm in the chicked dinner restaurant which is fun, it's pretty routine and the tips are nice. I mostly enjoy the friends i have there though, they make it worth going every day (!). the reason i am working so much is because of....

the.plan.
i am going to Berlin in august! how sweet is that? i am meeting up with daniel and seanna and ira after they return from alawi and i am going to spend a week ther. i was able to get the week off work as a graduation trip and so it will be my last chance to travel before i start full time owrking (Nights).

okay thats it, i'll be back soon.

Che cosa sto facendo qui?

i am in an elementary school. in a nurses office. eating cheerios...

anyhow, sorry that i have not updated recently. I am actually at clinicals now, kinda on a break. SO i will update later.

~Malaika

quick! what's the number for 911?

i submitted my application to work as a Registered Nurse at Presbyterian Intercommunity Hospital in Whittier. What the crap am i doing? am i ready for this? I am still negotiating for the floor i want to work on. - the $10,000, i want to work in a field that i want to work in. I think it will all work out though.

Ira comes home tomorow. :-).

While Easter is a popular holiday and may be the most important Christian holiday (next to Christmas), many of us have a pretty weak understanding of what it is all about. For example, Easter often sneaks up on us: we may not even think of it until the annual church brunch is announced. ...

Lent is the antidote to this oversight. In the Western churches (of the Protestant variety) we don't participate in Lent, historically speaking. We are more comfortable with the joy and celebration of Easter than with the darkness that preceded it. But Lent is a chance to remember the dark before the dawn, the sin that sent Jesus to the cross. In the Orthodox Church, Lent is called the season of Bright Sadness, because it is a time of both celebration and mourning.

No more sugar starting tonight at 12:00. Lord, this is a true sacrifice to you, in appreciation for dying for me. (that was not as sacreligious as you think it was)

in my interest with the Orthodox church, i am going to participate in the eastern orthodox Lent Fasting. Which basically is:
In the forty-seven days preceding Easter Sunday, Eggs, milk, and dairy products are alloweeed only during the first week. Fish is allowed only on the day of St. Mary's Annunciation, March 25, and on Palm Sunday.

this is a cool website: http://www.imby.net/easter/lent.html

I am going to baltimore in april! yay.

that's enough for now.